![I’m a scumbag]( "I’m a scumbag")
- LawyersAdrunkstandsupinabarandshouts,"AllLawyersarescumbags".Anotherdrunkstandsupandyells,"Hey,Iresentthatremark".Thefirstdrunkyells."Whyareyoualawyer"."No",saidtheseconddrunk,"I’mascumbag".律师一喝醉了的人在一声酒吧呼喊,"所有的`律师都是无赖"。...
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![A Gentle Reminder]( "A Gentle Reminder")
- Havingbeenmarriedalongtime,myhusbandsometimesneedsagentlereminderofaspecialoccasion.Onthemorningofour35thanniversary,weweresittingatthebreakfasttablewhenIhinted,"Honey,doyourealizethatwe'vebeensittinginthesesametwoseatsforexactly35years?"Puttingd...
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![A Letter Declaring A Job Offer]( "A Letter Declaring A Job Offer")
- DearSirorMadame:WithreferencetoyourletteronDec.23nd,firstIshouldsayI'mverygratefulforthepositionyouofferedmeinthecompany.However,IcannotaccepttheIamterriblysorrytoturndownyourofferwhileherearesomeofmyt,IcannotmadefulluseofmymajorwhichIlearnedatcolle...
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![A Letter Declining a Job Offer]( "A Letter Declining a Job Offer")
- Dearh,Firstofall,Iwanttothankyouforgivingmesuchanhonor.I’mverygladandexcitedthatyouareprovidingmethisit’sapitythatIhavetodeclineyourgenerousoffer.ThisisexactthejobthatI’mlookingfor,whichistotallyinlinewithmymajor,andthesalaryisveryt...
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![A Speeding Motorist]( "A Speeding Motorist")
- Ahighwaypatrolofficerstoppedaspeedingmotorist."Don'tyouknowwhattheblinkinglightsandsirenmean?"hedemanded."Yes,sir,"repliedthedriver."Thenwhydidn'tyoupulloverimmediately?""Iwouldhave,officer,"themansaid."Butlastmonthmywiferanoffwithapoliceman,...
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![A Small Boy and a Donkey]( "A Small Boy and a Donkey")
- AsmallboyleadingadonkeypassedbyanArmycamp.Acoupleofsoldierswantedtohavesomefunwiththelad(少年，小伙子).Whatareyouholdingontoyourbrothersotightfor,sonny?askedoneofhewon'tjointhearmy,theyoungsterrepliedwithoutblinkinganeye.一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部...
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![Teachers to apply for a job a cover letter]( "Teachers to apply for a job a cover letter")
- DearDr.Anderson,QuanzhiwhohasjustreturnedtoChinafromyouruniversityinformedthatyouareconsideringthepossibilityofofferingaChineselanguagecoursetoyourstudentsinthenextacademicyearandmayhaveanopeningforateacheroftheChineselanguage.Iamverymuchinterestedin...
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![A Job Interview Is a Screen Test, an Act]( "A Job Interview Is a Screen Test, an Act")
- Ajobinterviewisascreentest,anact.Gettinghireddependsalmostcompletelyontheactorfactor.Ifyouknowyourlines,perfectyourdelivery,anddressforthepart,you’llgethired.Ifyoudon’t,youwon’t.Noretakes.Nobitparts.Nowyoucanmemorizethescriptinadvan...
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![a neuropathy]( "a neuropathy")
- Haveaneuropathy,Idonotknowwheretogetahandfulofpistols,heisgoneinalittleblackalley.Whensuddenlyayoungman,neuropathyapartfromanythingelseitsgunsonthegroundbypointingtohishead.Askedoneplusafewzero.Terrifiedyoungpeople,thoughtforalongtime.Answer,equalstw...
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![六年级英语“I’m a doctor”说课稿]( "六年级英语“I’m a doctor”说课稿")
- 以下是六年级英语I’madoctor说课稿，欢迎阅读!【说教材】1.教材内容本课时的教材内容是有关职业的六个单词doctorfirefighternurseofficeworkerpoliceofficersecretarytaxidriverteacher以及询问别人职业的句型Whatdoesyourfatherdo?Heisa….2.教材的地位本课...
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![A psychiatrist]( "A psychiatrist")
- Jerrywenttoapsychiatrist."Doc,"hesaid,"I'vegottrouble.EverytimeIgetintobed,Ithinkthere'ssomebodyunderit.I'mgoingcrazy!""Justputyourselfinmyhandsforoneyear,"saidtheshrink."Cometomethreetimesaweek,andI'llcureyourfears.""Howmuchdoyouchar...
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![A Boy with a Big Head]( "A Boy with a Big Head")
- Aboycriedtohismother,"Allthechildrenmakefunofme.TheysayIhaveabighead.""Don'tlistentothem,"hismothersaid,"Youhaveabeautifulhead.Nowstopcryingandgotothestoretobuytwentypoundsofpatotoes.""Whereistheshoppingbag?""Ihaven'tgotone-useyourhat."一个小...
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![A English Letter to Find a Good Job]( "A English Letter to Find a Good Job")
- Dearsir/Madam,MynameisLucemingandiwilsaygoodbyetomyiwanttofindagoodjob.Firstofall,iwillintroducemyself.IamdyingoftheEnglish.ialsohaveagoodcommandofbusinessEnglishandthebasichile,inordertoenlargemyknowledge,Ialwaysreadsomenewspapersandmagazinesaboutbu...
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![A Question]( "A Question")
- Professor:Beforewebegintheexaminationarethereanyquestion?Student:What'sthenameofthiscourse?教授：在开始考试之前，还有什么问题吗?学生：考试科目的名称是什么?...
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![An American, a Japanese, a Chinese]( "An American, a Japanese, a Chinese")
- AnAmerican,aJapanese,aChineseexpeditioninthejungle.Theresultswerecapturedbytribalcannibalism.Canbetribalchiefs,said:"I'minagoodmoodtoday,donoteatyou,butyouhavetopayonehundredboard,butyoucanendurebeforetheboardtohaveadesiretoachieve."Boardisthefir...
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![I’m Cess]( "I’m Cess")
- Amanwaswalkingalongthestreetwhenhesawaladdergoingintotheclouds.Asanyofuswoulddo,heclimbedtheladder.Hereachedacloud,uponwhichsataratherplumpandveryuglywoman."Screwmeorclimbtheladdertosuccess,"shesaid.Nocontest,thoughttheman,soheclimbedtheladdertothene...
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![In a second]( "In a second")
- AmangoestochurchandstartstalkingtoGod.Hesays:"God,whatisamilliondollarstoyou?"andGodsays:"Apenny",thenthemansays:"God,whatisamillionyearstoyou?"andGodsays:"asecond",thenthemansays:"God,canIhaveapenny?"andGodsays"Inasecond."一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他...
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![Piracy is a Negotiation, not a Fight]( "Piracy is a Negotiation, not a Fight")
- ThesaleoftoAOLfor$850millionlastweeksparkedafreshwaveofopiningaboutmusicpiracy,withBillyBraggandMichaelArringtonbothsteppingintothering.Theproblemis,theyarebothwrong.InthebluecornerwehavemusicianBillyBragg,whoseespeoplelikeBebofounderMichaelBirchasan...
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![A Letter Decling a Job Offer]( "A Letter Decling a Job Offer")
- Dearsirs,Iamverygladtoreceiveyourletterandfeelgratefulforofferingmethepostofsellsmanager.SatisfiedasIamwithboththeworkingconditionsandthesalaryyourcompanyoffers,IregrettosaythatIcan'tacceptyourgraciousoffer.ThemainreasonofmydecisionisthatbeforeIsubm...
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![A Life for a Life]( "A Life for a Life")
- TheEnglishauthor，RichardSavage，wasoncelivinginLondoningreatordertoearnalittlemoneyhehadwrittenthestoryofhislife，butnotmanycopiesofthebookhadbeensoldintheshops，andSavagewaslivingfromhandaresultofhislackoffoodhebecameveryill，butafteratime，owingtotheskillofth...
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![After A Pirate Negotiation, A Personal Connection]( "After A Pirate Negotiation, A Personal Connection")
- TheydroppedthemoneyforthepiratesfromahelicopteronaFridaymorning.ShippingexecutivePerGullestrup'screwwasreleasedandheadedhome.Thepirates,intheGulfofAden,headedoff.Butthenextmorning,GullestrupwasinhiskitcheninCopenhagenwhenhiscellphonerang.Thecallerwa...
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![英语笑话 A Life for a Life]( "英语笑话 A Life for a Life")
- 分享一则很搞笑的英语笑话TheEnglishauthor，RichardSavage，wasoncelivinginLondoningreatordertoearnalittlemoneyhehadwrittenthestoryofhislife，butnotmanycopiesofthebookhadbeensoldintheshops，andSavagewaslivingfromhandaresultofhislackoffoodhebecameveryill，butafter...
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![A Present]( "A Present")
- Kate:Mom,doyouknowwhatI'mgoingtogiveyouforyourbirthday?Mom:No,Honey,what?Kate:Aniceteapot.Mom:ButI'vegotaniceteapot.Kate:No,youhaven't.I'vejustdroppedit.凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀?凯特：一把漂亮的`茶...
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![A preacher is buying a parrot]( "A preacher is buying a parrot")
- Areyousureitdoesntscream,yell,orswear?askedthepreacher.Ohabsolutely.Itsareligiousparrot,thestorekeeperassureshim.Doyouseethosestringsonhislegs?Whenyoupulltherightone,herecitesthelordsprayer,andwhenyoupullontheleftherecitesthe23rdPsalm.Wonderful!sayst...
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![a King from a Knave]( "a King from a Knave")
- GeorgeⅢaskedtheoncewellknownwit,HorneTooke,whetherhecouldplayMajesty,repliedTooke,Iamamerechildwherecardsareconcerned.IcannoteventellaKingfromaKnave.乔治三世问一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·图克，会不会玩纸牌。陛下，图克回答说：在玩纸牌方面，我只不过是幼儿园...
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